1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,359 This programme contains some strong language and sensitive themes 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,960 CAR HORN OUTSIDE 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,520 SIREN PASSES OUTSIDE 4 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,720 TRAIN RUMBLES 5 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,959 I was wondering if perhaps you wanted to get some clothes. 6 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,319 Er... 7 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,079 Well, yes, I probably should. 8 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,320 Good. 9 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,480 This is �200. 10 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,239 No, I can't take your money as well as your hospitality. 11 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,839 Well, the hospitality's a gift. This is a loan. I... 12 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:48,199 No, you've done so much already, I don't want to be any trouble. 13 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,199 Well, have you got a bank account? 14 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,359 No. 15 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,319 Have you got any cash, money? 16 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,719 Er, no. 17 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,319 Well, I don't know what your Bible says, 18 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,920 but mine is quite explicit about helping people in need. 19 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,079 My sons have moved out. 20 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,719 My husband left me, 21 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,759 I like having you here. 22 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,879 And if you find anything nice for the Harvest Festival... 23 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,959 Look, I'll drop something at the church... No, no... 24 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:20,240 I didn't mean for you to go. I have no intention of being afraid of him. 25 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,159 You're going to be OK, aren't you? Mm. 26 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,540 Let's start with a question. 27 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,640 What do you think a priest is? 28 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,879 People who talk to God. 29 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,279 Yeah, that's good. Um... 30 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,559 But I actually think anyone can talk to God. 31 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,079 That's what prayer is. 32 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,839 A priest is the boss in church. 33 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,519 I like that. Yes, we are. 34 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,999 Do you have a class representative? 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,719 Someone who sits on a committee representing the class? 36 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,160 Angus. 37 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,839 ALL LAUGH Are you Angus? 38 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,559 On Wednesday, we have roast dinner, 39 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,839 but Angus decided we should have sausages instead. 40 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,479 Did he talk to you about that decision? No. 41 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,719 Yeah! I did! No, you didn't! 42 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:12,399 Would you consider you elected him your representative leader? 43 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,119 When it comes to lunch menus, at least? 44 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,559 Definitely. Definitely? Yeah? 45 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,079 Right, well, I would say, 46 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,599 what I do is spiritual leadership. 47 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,879 I don't decide what we have for lunch 48 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,439 but I do lead people, 49 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,160 or try to, in their prayer and their worship. 50 00:02:33,161 --> 00:02:36,759 And that's why I'm here today, to talk to you about 51 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,599 a festival we're going to be running at my church. 52 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,599 Who here has heard of Harvest Festival? Me! I have! 53 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,239 Good! And who can tell me what it's all about? 54 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,359 SCHOOL BELL RINGS Thank you for doing that. 55 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,839 Talking of business, 56 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,999 were you able to give any more consideration 57 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,839 to my needle-exchange idea? 58 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,279 Yes, Harvest Festivals, needle banks... 59 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,599 They did warn me that you were radical when you came our way. 60 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,839 It's just a small capital investment. Hmm... 61 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,799 Now this diocese is already running three full-time food banks. 62 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,319 I think there are six part-time ones, and the Deanery is... 63 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,439 Well, it's taken to opening its doors twice a week as a warm bank, 64 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,439 and there's countless outreach educational groups. 65 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,799 OK, but those are all necessary. 66 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,759 The diocese has �53 million in funds, 67 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,439 21 of which is cash in the bank. Surely, we can find some... 68 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,479 How long have you been with us? Is it two years? Three. 69 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,439 Well, don't you think you ought to settle in properly 70 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,040 before you try taking on MY job? 71 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:35,919 Look, I know what happened with this nun and, clearly, 72 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,799 clearly, there is no... 73 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,559 ...no blame attached to you. 74 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,799 But it's not as if your copy book wasn't already blotted, 75 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,719 and now you're, you're digging into our accounts? You've heard about...? 76 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,480 I never knew that she was so flighty. 77 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,170 Silly. 78 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,920 Um... 79 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,399 I think there was... 80 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,679 Um... 81 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,999 It was confusion. Oh, there's no confusion. She took a vow. 82 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,160 And she didn't even wait to ask for permission to leave. 83 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,559 I did... If you want to find her, I do know where she is. 84 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,399 Well, we know where she is, 85 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,159 but the Abbess, she wants, 86 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,239 she wants her to stew a little. 87 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,719 Oh, poor Anna, 88 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,950 she has absolutely no idea of the real world. 89 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,320 Good luck, David! 90 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,159 Er, and thanks once again. 91 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,559 Very kind of you. 92 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,200 ENGINE STARTS 93 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,360 BUSTLE 94 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,800 MOTHER: Come on. 95 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,639 Oh, sorry. I need to count your... I'm sorry? 96 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,399 I need to count your clothes. 97 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,880 You need to count them? 98 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,640 SHE SNIFFLES 99 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,560 SHE SOBS QUIETLY 100 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,320 Let me take this. Thanks. 101 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,999 It's a recruitment drive. 102 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,839 You've discovered a way to recruit people! 103 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:05,359 You love it! Admit it, you do! 104 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,399 They get to feel charitable about donating a can of beans. 105 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,319 They remind themselves they're Catholic, 106 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,719 see the inside of a Church. 107 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,079 They might even, God forbid, come to the actual service. 108 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,559 How many cans of beans do we have? At a rough estimate, 467. 109 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,879 I could fill the front three pews. Or we could keep them 110 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,959 and do that thing where we push you down a hill in a bath full of beans. 111 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,639 Well, I don't think that would do your reputation any good at all. 112 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,519 Especially now. 113 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,679 It's all over the diocese. 114 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,200 The pretty priest who steals sisters. 115 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,560 It's not my fault she's flighty. 116 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,600 Oh, "flighty", is it? 117 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,480 HE CHUCKLES 118 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,799 I brought home some food. 119 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,439 Chinese. 120 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,160 Cos I like it. 121 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,200 I hope you like it. 122 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,639 Pretty much like all food. 123 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:22,999 How was your day? 124 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,239 Urgh, not the best. 125 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,079 We're overrun. 126 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,359 Oh, I'm sorry. 127 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,519 Yeah... 128 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,760 Been overrun for years. 129 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,400 So, what did you get? 130 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,320 Shopping, I mean. 131 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,800 Er... 132 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,359 Er... 133 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,200 It felt a bit much, to be honest. 134 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,960 Oh? 135 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,599 We need a drink. 136 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,879 But first I'm going to get you some clothes. 137 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,600 See, we didn't have mirrors in the convent. Course, you didn't! 138 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:03,039 And, well, I seem to have lost the ability to look at myself. 139 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,359 And yet, everybody else seemed to want to look at me. 140 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:09,639 It's almost as if I've forgotten what I look like. 141 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,279 Not that I think I'm still 16. 142 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,959 You've got a beautiful face. 143 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,359 No, no, no... 144 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,439 It's not... It's not a question of pride, I... 145 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,559 Do you know, to be honest, 146 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,879 I've got to admit, I don't like changing rooms either. 147 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,239 Everything had short sleeves. 148 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,039 And the tops, the dresses, 149 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,159 and I just wanted something to... 150 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,879 ...to cover myself. 151 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,159 What is it you want covered? 152 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,759 Well, my arms and... and my legs. 153 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,440 I mean, there were some long sleeves but... 154 00:09:41,441 --> 00:09:44,959 It's not that I don't like my arms, I mean, 155 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,320 I don't really think about my arms, but... 156 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,879 I... 157 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,720 I have never shaved my armpits. 158 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,919 Oh. 159 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,199 And everything felt very... 160 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,119 Well, very exposing of that. 161 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,600 And... 162 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,960 I've also never shaved my legs. 163 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,079 SHE GIGGLES UNCOMFORTABLY 164 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,479 I am profoundly hairy. 165 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,080 THEY LAUGH 166 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,680 MOBILE VIBRATES 167 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,880 Father David. 168 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,359 Oh, hi. I was called to a Gertrude Blaisey? 169 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,920 Yes, of course, take a seat. 170 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,640 HE SIGHS 171 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:41,039 Thanks for coming. 172 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,160 You're Lucy? Yeah. 173 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,360 Um, thank you for ringing me. 174 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,140 I care deeply about your mum. 175 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,960 I've missed her at Mass. 176 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,480 Went in every day, right? That's right. 177 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,000 Bet her confession was a blast. HE LAUGHS 178 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,480 Did she talk about me? 179 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,560 I know you can't say. 180 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,959 Wink for yes, maybe. 181 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,320 HE CHUCKLES 182 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,319 Gertrude was... 183 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,479 Is very kind around the parish. 184 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,600 She wasn't... 185 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,040 I wasn't Catholic. 186 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,239 She wasn't Catholic when I was a child. 187 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,440 She was when she was a kid, but found being an adult more... 188 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:50,800 ...difficult. 189 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,319 I'm guessing... 190 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,640 ...you two didn't always get on? No. 191 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,160 She... liked to hurt. 192 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,239 I'm sorry about that. 193 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,600 I'm just... 194 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,960 ...pleased someone's forgiven her. 195 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,920 FOOTSTEPS NURSE:It's time. 196 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,560 SHE SIGHS 197 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,680 Lucy, would you come in with me? 198 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,159 SHE SOBS Uh... 199 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,320 The Last Rites are something... 200 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,360 ...really quite beautiful. 201 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,720 It's a celebration of the sacraments of penance and viaticum. 202 00:13:54,160 --> 00:14:00,159 Viaticum is a Latin word meaning provision and love 203 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,120 for the next part of the journey. 204 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,519 Viaticum, 205 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,840 "With you on the way." 206 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,239 SHE SOBS 207 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,519 It's about faith, of course, 208 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:21,520 but I think it's mostly about love. 209 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,319 SHE SOBS I can't... 210 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,679 It doesn't have to be about your forgiveness. 211 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,240 I'm not challenging your anger. 212 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,999 All that's asked for 213 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,439 is your support for her penance 214 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,080 and her journey. 215 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,640 SOBS: I definitely support her penance. 216 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,880 Do you have anything to say to me, Gertrude? 217 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,239 If you're unable to talk, just squeeze my hand, 218 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,760 if you're sorry for anything you've done wrong. 219 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:24,919 I just... 220 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,560 ...want to say... 221 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,000 Thanks, Gertrude. Thank you... 222 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,119 ...for being a really good friend... 223 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,079 ...me and to the community. 224 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,280 I think we saw the very best of you. 225 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:44,920 I love you... 226 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,680 ...very much. 227 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,800 SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH 228 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,759 God, the Father of mercies, 229 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,919 through the death and resurrection of his Son, 230 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,039 has reconciled the world to Himself 231 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,039 and sent the Holy Spirit among us 232 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,999 for the forgiveness of sins. 233 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,959 Through the ministry of his Church, 234 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,039 may God give you peace 235 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,520 and pardon. 236 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,759 I absolve you from your sins, 237 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,159 in the name of the Father, 238 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,159 of the Son, 239 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,719 and the Holy Spirit. 240 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,440 SHE WEEPS 241 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,840 HE LAUGHS 242 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,800 I don't like this. 243 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,560 IMITATES EXPLOSION 244 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,960 My name's David, I'm an alcoholic. 245 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,199 GROUP: Hi, David. 246 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,440 I'm also, as most of you know, a priest. 247 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,320 It's been a while since I've spoken. 248 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,799 I was, in Reading, 249 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,199 quite a big deal. 250 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,679 I was given a lot of responsibilities in the diocese, 251 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:53,999 a lot for my age. 252 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,839 There were those that said I was to be the next bishop, 253 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,160 quite a young bishop. 254 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,279 There were a group of kids I was counselling. 255 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,600 Not all Catholics, but I was pushing for a church that reaches out. 256 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,399 I wasn't a trained counsellor, but... 257 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,760 ...I'd done courses and I thought the priesthood was social work. 258 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,439 I... I thought this boy, 259 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,199 I won't tell you his name, was... 260 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,999 ...being abused... 261 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,280 ...and... 262 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,479 I was trying to help him, 263 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,719 get him to admit what had happened to him, 264 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,200 how he felt about it. 265 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:38,920 Things that I felt he needed, 266 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,759 And he... he did tell me. 267 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,360 He told me all sorts. 268 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,160 It was his father... raping him. 269 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,439 And... 270 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,480 ...the... the difficult thing was... 271 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,679 The difficult thing was that 272 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,560 he told me he thought he liked it. 273 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,240 And then, he, uh... Um... 274 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,920 He killed himself. 275 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,440 It was very... 276 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:30,720 ...sad. 277 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,800 No-one blames me, but... 278 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,599 ...people kept telling me to pray and... 279 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,079 ...kept wanting to pray themselves and I led them, that's my job, 280 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,920 I led them in praying, and... 281 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,920 ...that's when I lost it. 282 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,280 The ability to pray. 283 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,559 I found I could only talk to God, 284 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,199 I could only find God within myself, when I drank. 285 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,519 I found... truth. 286 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:04,760 Solace. 287 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:09,840 I don't know. 288 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,280 And I took to starting the day with a drink. 289 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,079 You know, I'm... I'm not blaming it on losing the kid, 290 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,640 it was my own weakness. 291 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,600 I'm not saying that was the reason, but it was the... 292 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,320 ...trigger. 293 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,760 Anyway... 294 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,239 HE SIGHS 295 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,560 ...I was no longer talked of as a future bishop. 296 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,010 Someone saw what was happening and I was taken away and treated and... 297 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,520 ...helped. 298 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,199 And... 299 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,680 ...I moved in with my sister... 300 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,400 ...and found a new life. 301 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,520 Here. 302 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:07,320 It's rare for priests to move... 303 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,040 ...but Bristol was good enough to welcome me and... 304 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,400 ...I felt I was doing good. 305 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,120 Perhaps not good enough, but... 306 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,320 ...good work. 307 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:27,639 But... 308 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,319 HE SIGHS 309 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:30,760 Lately... 310 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,840 ...things have become disturbed. 311 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,080 And I...I... I guess I'm... 312 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,040 ...scared I'm going to... 313 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,120 TEARFULLY: Right now, I need a drink so badly. 314 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,679 In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 315 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,639 CONGREGATION: Amen. 316 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,600 The Lord be with you. And with your spirit. 317 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,400 Lord, we have sinned against you. Lord have mercy. 318 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:45,960 Lord have mercy. 319 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,760 Show us your mercy and your love. 320 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,640 And grant us your salvation. 321 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,359 May Almighty God have mercy on us, 322 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:57,879 forgive our sins 323 00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,920 and bring us to everlasting life. 324 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,640 Amen. Amen. 325 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,200 Er, welcome! 326 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,239 Um... 327 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,159 Welcome to something a bit different! 328 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,599 LAUGHTER 329 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,239 Now the Catholic Church is not known for its thieving, 330 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,230 apart from all the things we've stolen. 331 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,679 But this today is an audacious act of larceny, 332 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,679 taking back from the Church of England what is, 333 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,879 in fact, a Catholic event. 334 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,479 In fact, I'll go further. 335 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,199 A Catholic embrace. 336 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,959 A celebration not of plenty 337 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,519 but of eliminating want, 338 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,560 of giving and the understanding of need. 339 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,399 St Isidore, often called the "Farmer", 340 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,639 and our Saint of Harvest, said this, 341 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,399 "When God's grace touches our innermost minds 342 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,639 "to bring understanding, 343 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,119 "His word, which is received by the ear, 344 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:15,360 "can sink deep into our heart." 345 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,760 Today's an act of love. 346 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,239 And let's start by singing hymn number 432, 347 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,119 Come, Ye Thankful People, Come. 348 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,400 ORGAN PLAYS INTRODUCTION 349 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:46,119 ? Come, ye thankful people, come 350 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:51,679 ? Raise the song of harvest home... ? 351 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,559 Well, that was a beautiful service. Mm, yeah. 352 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,040 You still fancy him though, right? Mmm... 353 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,079 I hope he didn't think I got my hair done for him. 354 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,560 You had a haircut, you didn't get your hair "done". 355 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,839 I felt so ashamed sitting there. 356 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,400 Well, you shouldn't have. 357 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,759 I felt... 358 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:24,640 I feel like I'm ten years old! Well, you're not! 359 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,240 And I say that as someone who's shaved your armpits! 360 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:10,920 Dad? 361 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,240 Your mother wanted a word. 362 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,439 Who is he? It doesn't matter. 363 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,480 I'm not discussing him with you. Why not? 364 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,679 Because I don't want your judgment. 365 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,319 26 years, just torn up, like that! 366 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,800 That's not how I see it. 367 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:33,919 I... 368 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,999 I don't have to justifying my choices to you. 369 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,919 You just walked out on a job for a man who won't look at you. 370 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,679 How DO you see it? 371 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,879 Did you come here just to shout at me, Mum? 372 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,799 You were 16! 373 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,639 I told you it was a mistake. 374 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,479 You were so sure, 375 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,479 until, suddenly, you throw it all away! All that work! 376 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,079 "All that work"? 377 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,399 You made a commitment. 378 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:01,199 A commitment which ripped my heart out. 379 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,759 DOOR CLOSES 380 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,799 Your dad's heart out. And now, it means nothing. 381 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,119 I made a commitment which I...I do not regret. 382 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,839 Of course, you regret it. But now, I realise that... 383 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,999 Now you realise you've thrown away the best part of your life, 384 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,240 and he doesn't want you back, right? 385 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,440 You made this choice and HE doesn't want you back. 386 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,279 That's the thing you could never understand. 387 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,039 There's a point where you are, as a woman, 388 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,280 where we all are, so beautiful, but now... I'm not. 389 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:38,840 Go home. 390 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,039 I needed to see you. 391 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:46,440 You are making your problems mine, Mum, like you always do. 392 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:49,440 Go home. 393 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,319 Don't remember the wrong things from this. 394 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,640 You've made your point. 395 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,000 Go home. 396 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,199 Hello, Father. 397 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,560 Er, hello, Muriel. 398 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,159 I was, um... 399 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:25,679 I was wondering if, er... 400 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,280 I could talk to... 401 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,640 I wondered if you fancied a walk. 402 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,560 I enjoyed your Harvest service. 403 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,480 I was pleased to see you there. 404 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,639 Surprised, if I'm honest. 405 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:57,039 There's something basic, isn't there, about the Harvest 406 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,559 as a time for sharing. 407 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,679 It was originally Catholic. 408 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,559 Until Henry VIII, it was a Catholic service, and the Irish... 409 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:07,600 Yes, I think you mentioned that... a few times! 410 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,600 How long did it take you to write it, the sermon? 411 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,519 Depends why you're asking. 412 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:17,959 I liked it. 413 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,799 All the stuff about the true nature of giving, I... 414 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,719 I thought you gave a really... 415 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,959 A true analysis of generosity as an exchange. 416 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,520 Ah, yeah. Thank you. 417 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,719 Um, I... I... 418 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,079 I write them very quickly. Often in the bath. 419 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,200 And then, I revise them quite a bit. 420 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,479 So, you write in the bath? 421 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,359 Well, I actually dictate them into my phone. 422 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,199 I can hear the water moving when I listen back. 423 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:47,639 Oh! 424 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,599 That's an odd image. 425 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:54,400 Suppose there isn't a great deal to do but think, when you're wet. 426 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:57,880 No. 427 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,279 My parents came to see me. Furious. 428 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,239 About leaving your...? Yeah. 429 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,319 I thought you said they weren't especially Catholic? 430 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,839 Well, my mum didn't want me to become a nun, 431 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,879 but here I am... Doing it anyway. 432 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,759 Well, leaving, 433 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,200 having ruined the best part of my life serving something fruitless. 434 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:22,279 You haven't ruined the best parts of your life. 435 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:23,920 If only you were my mother. 436 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,199 My parents were troubled by my choice. 437 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,199 My sister thought it was great. 438 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,719 Not like the good old days when that third child 439 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:34,639 would be stuffed off to the clergy. 440 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,879 Think that's more of an Anglican tradition. 441 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,879 Do they come to your services? 442 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,120 Ah, both dead. 443 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,359 My sister's still around though. 444 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,600 She's the natural daughter. I was adopted. 445 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,199 Oh... 446 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,880 So, your parents were...? 447 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,040 What, white? 448 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:55,639 Yeah. 449 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,439 Isn't it strange how that question's always the first one people ask? 450 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,839 Oh. Sorry for the boring question. 451 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:04,039 It's not boring at all. Just marginally... Racist. 452 00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,760 Socially telling. 453 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,560 I don't want to have sex with you. 454 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,160 Sorry? 455 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,600 I, er... 456 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,519 I don't know what this is, 457 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:25,039 but I've kept thinking about it and I just wanted to say, 458 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,440 that I don't think I want to have sex with you. 459 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,199 Uh, OK... 460 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,799 Or, well, maybe I do. Maybe I'm just saying that to, um... 461 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,639 But sex, the... 462 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,839 ...the idea of sex, but even when you were talking about yourself, 463 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:46,239 you know, in the bath, actually, that didn't do it for me, 464 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:50,999 because the idea of sex is truly terrifying to me, 465 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,079 as I'm sure it is to you. 466 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,610 Er, I'm not even sure how I even feel about kissing. 467 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,679 I just don't know... 468 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,000 ...what this is. 469 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,999 The way you make me feel... 470 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,440 The way you made me feel in an instant is... 471 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:15,879 It remains something I can't explain or, 472 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,479 or even understand. 473 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,800 Even now. 474 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,599 It's something else. 475 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,800 It's... 476 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,919 ...something more. 477 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,240 So... 478 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:31,880 ...that's it! 479 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,600 Now... Now, you have to talk. 480 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,880 Um... 481 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,440 I just wanted to see you. 482 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:49,690 Why? 483 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,959 Cos I like you. 484 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,240 SHE SCOFFS 485 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,680 What a safe word to use. 486 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,039 I suppose I was worried about you. 487 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:06,400 Of course you are. 488 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,840 But, um... 489 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,480 Thank you for the clarity... 490 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,160 ...about the sex. 491 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,560 I don't want to have sex with you. 492 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,200 But I do want to hold your hand. 493 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:07,840 OK. 494 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:12,760 OK. 495 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,760 My position hasn't changed. 496 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,039 No, you're... 497 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,719 Er, you're worried for me. 498 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:25,079 You don't want to have sex with me and you don't have feelings for me. 499 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,959 Are you going to keep saying the word "sex"? 500 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,830 I know, now I've started I can't stop. 501 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,840 My promises are... everything to me. 502 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:43,040 My service to God matters... to me. 503 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:46,560 My feelings for you... 504 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,200 ...are ones of care and... 505 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,160 ...friendship. 506 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,120 OK. Look, all I want to do... 507 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:02,840 I want to help you. 508 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,639 You know, I threw my life up for you, 509 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,599 and you can deny responsibility, but I... 510 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,079 Hang on, I'm responsible...? Yes. 511 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,719 Yes, you are. And now, you're sat here 512 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:18,879 like a... a wet pudding, 513 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,959 and I feel like I'm the one who has to make YOU feel OK. 514 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,840 SHE SCOFFS 515 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,439 I... I should go. But you came to my service. 516 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,959 Yes, I came to your church. Why? 517 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,120 To take part in a festival. Well, it felt like you were... What? 518 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:37,080 What? 519 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:46,040 I'd hoped it was an act of friendship. 520 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,520 Well, it must be lovely to have hopes like you've got. I... 521 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,279 I want to be your friend and "help" isn't a bad word. 522 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,279 I want to support you in what you're doing. 523 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:01,720 I want to... 524 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,720 I can't be THAT. 525 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,680 But I can be... 526 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,799 I'd like to be your friend. OK. 527 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,959 Well, I accept your friendship. 528 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,599 You do? Yes. Thank you. 529 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,719 Yes, I do. 530 00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:22,119 But... I am... 531 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,920 I'm tired now and I want to go home. 532 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,200 Do you even know the way? 533 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,400 I've always been good at retracing my steps. 534 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,639 You know, I was sure, when I became a nun 535 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,319 and I am equally sure now. 536 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,080 I just know that God's path for me has changed. 537 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,080 And I... I... 538 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,400 I believe that God's path for you has changed, too. 539 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,639 Now, I am not some caged bird 540 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,239 who saw a means of escape. 541 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,200 I saw what you felt. 542 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:05,800 And I felt it, too. 543 00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,560 I didn't imagine it. 544 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:09,360 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 545 00:42:09,410 --> 00:42:13,960 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0